How a DIII field hockey player built an LGBTQ advocacy program that lasts

A child stood at the table full of LGBTQ-themed gifts, unsure which sticker to pick. Behind the child, a parent smiled and offered gentle encouragement: "Say thank you." 

An older couple — gray-haired, quiet at first — approached the same table with curiosity and left with gratitude. "Thank you for doing this," they said. 

And in the bleachers at Haverford's field hockey 2023 Pride Game, a lone parent wore a rainbow T-shirt, the only one in the crowd. He had driven from Massachusetts to support his daughter's teammates — and, more quietly, his younger son, who is gay. 

Each interaction affirmed what Mary Smith had come to believe: Visibility is powerful, and belonging starts with being seen. 

"What I wanted was somebody's kid sister or kid brother to come to one of our Pride Games and see that, 'Oh, it's celebrated, being who I am,'" she said. "Having those experiences fuels the fire and keeps it going because I want these kids to keep thinking that it's OK to be who they are." 

Smith, a 2025 Haverford graduate with a degree in physics and standout goalkeeper for the field hockey team, spent her college career doing exactly that — creating space. She was a driving force behind the formation and growth of Play with Pride, an LGBTQ student-athlete group that evolved from late-night support meetings in empty classrooms to an established club organizing events for every varsity sport on campus. 

"Mary is a champion to the LGBTQ community," said Danielle Lynch, Haverford's athletics director. "She goes above and beyond to ensure that the needs of students are met and elevated to ensure that Haverford is a place that welcomes and celebrates everyone." 

Smith's efforts earned her the Marsha P. Johnson Legacy Award at Haverford's Lavender Graduation, an annual celebration honoring and acknowledging the achievements of LGBTQIA+ graduating seniors. The award honors her commitment to LGBTQIA+ joy, resistance and coalition building. 

Smith's journey to Haverford wasn't traditional. A lifelong soccer player growing up in Orange County, California, she found field hockey in high school only after her sister tried out for the team.  

Recruited during the COVID-19 pandemic, Smith committed to Haverford without ever visiting its campus, located just outside Philadelphia. She was drawn in by the school's honor code and the chance to study astrophysics. Zoom calls with the team only added to her gut feeling that the move across the country was the right choice.  

Once there, she quickly realized the culture and size of the campus of about 1,500 undergraduate students offered something more: safety and belonging. 

"I realized I'm safe here to sort of create the me I want to be — and just be who I am, louder and without shame," Smith said. 

But she also noticed a gap. 

"Especially as an athlete, you're kind of a leader on campus. You're in the limelight, whether you want to be or not," she said. "I wanted to create a space that felt inclusive for everyone." 

So she did, alongside other brave advocates and allies. 

What began as a small, informal support group for queer athletes grew into a full-fledged club by Smith's sophomore year. Their first Pride game — a women's lacrosse match — featured simple decorations and a donation table. The group soon branded itself as Play with Pride and organized Haverford's first full Pride Week, a celebration packed with games, speakers and bonding nights. 

"It was hectic, but everybody loved it," she said.  

That included athletics administration, who applauded the group's organization and consistency. Over time, Smith said, Play with Pride became a model for the athletics department when partnering for other awareness initiatives at events — from mental health games to diabetes awareness nights. 

"When athletics told us they were basing their protocols off of us, that was a defining moment," Smith said.  

The group's advocacy work wasn't without challenges. The club juggled heavy student-athlete schedules, frequently ran into funding hurdles and occasionally faced pushback, including one incident where a visiting parent tore down Pride decorations midgame. But the support from Haverford's administration and athletics department never wavered. 

"The athletics administration was really good about supporting us and supporting what we needed," Smith said.  

This kind of backing made a difference. And it mirrored the support Smith herself showed to others on campus.  

"Mary is a thoughtful, kind and supportive person, and she demonstrated that every day as a member of the Haverford field hockey team," field hockey head coach Jackie Cox said. "Her passion was evident in the way she cared deeply for everyone in our community. She didn't have to take on the responsibility of raising awareness and advocating for this cause, but she did, driven by her genuine compassion and commitment to making a difference." 

Her impact showed up on the field, too. As a senior, Smith made 15 starts in goal, finishing among the conference leaders in save percentage and shutouts. But her legacy was never just about what she stopped. It was about what she started. 

"Mary was driven to help create a welcoming and inclusive environment for the LGBTQ+ community at Haverford," Cox said. "Thanks to Mary and the others who helped launch this initiative, Haverford is now fully committed to hosting Play with Pride games in every athletic season — a lasting impact that speaks to her leadership and dedication." 

Smith plans to take a gap year before applying to graduate school. In the meantime, she'll continue coaching, mentoring and advocating for younger queer athletes. 

Her advice to those athletes? 

"The biggest form of resistance is to be who you are," she said. "The best thing you can do is to be who you are and to be proud of who you are and to feel joy in your identity."