Who is older?
Growing up, Alev and Derya Kelter asked their mom this question a thousand times, wanting to be the older twin sister to have a leg up on the other.
To her dismay, Alev arrived second. Yet amid the competitive nature of sibling rivalry, Alev and Derya always wanted to see each other succeed.
"We nurtured that relationship of, 'I'm going to help you, and you're going to help me, and we're going to rise together,'" Alev said.
Growing up in Alaska, Alev, Derya and their two brothers played every sport imaginable. The rugged beauty of Alaska served as their training grounds.
Out of high school, Alev and Derya were both recruited to play soccer and hockey in college. The twins did not want to be a package deal, deciding to visit and choose schools separately. Each girl wrote her decision in a letter. When they opened the letters, they found they had both chosen Wisconsin.
"It was a serendipitous moment for us," Alev said.
The twins competed on the Badgers soccer and hockey teams. Soccer had always been Derya's favorite, and hockey had been Alev's.
Alev (left) and Derya played soccer and hockey together at Wisconsin. (Photo courtesy of Ice Hockey Fandom)
Alev excelled in both sports. Like many young athletes, she dreamed of becoming an Olympian.
At 14 years old, she earned a spot on the U.S. national soccer development program. Alev continued to play both sports, eventually captaining the U18 U.S. national hockey team to win back-to-back gold medals at the International Ice Hockey Federation's Women's World Championships. After Alev's senior year at Wisconsin, she tried out for the Olympic ice hockey team, but didn't make the final cut.
After her rejection from the 2014 Sochi Olympics, Alev said she fell into a deep depression.
As Derya supported Alev, Derya referred to the squabble they would often have as children: Who was born first?
"(Derya) was there to say I'm no less of a human because I came out second," Alev said.
"From the beginning of life, I couldn't control that moment when she popped out first and I came out second. So why am I always forever losing this battle. That joking moment all of my life, I realized, is like a moment of me feeling like I'm less than."
This realization served as a turning point for Alev's disappointment with her hockey career. She began to realign herself, focusing less on identifying with the successes and failures of her sport and more on her identity as a whole person.
"I had time and the ability to really refocus on the macro lens of my purpose," Alev said. "That is to use my platform and to inspire people to be active, to follow their passions, and to not be afraid of the word 'no.'"
Alev began to accept the door closing on her dreams of becoming an Olympic hockey player.
Yet, less than 30 days later, another door opened — one she never expected.
Kelter played in her first Olympics in the 2016 Rio de Janeiro Games. (Photo by David Rogers / Getty Images)
One evening, an unknown number called her phone. On the other end, U.S. national rugby coach Ric Suggitt asked Alev a question that changed her life.
"I hear you're a pretty good athlete. Would you like to come give rugby a try?" Suggitt said.
The then-22-year-old Alev had never even touched a rugby ball, nonetheless played the sport. Suggitt said he didn't mind. He would see her in two weeks for training camp.
In January 2014, while still in college at Wisconsin, Kelter played rugby for the first time. After five days at training camp, she fell in love with the sport.
Three months later, after finishing her education, she moved to train full time as a contracted rugby player and played her first sevens rugby game in April.
In 2016, Alev finally received the call she had waited for: She would compete for the U.S. women's rugby team in the Rio de Janeiro Olympics.
"(In hockey) I was very, you know, focused on the statistics, on being the best player statistically, plus-minus average," Alev reflected. "I put a lot of my identity in sport and my performance. So if we didn't play well, I felt pretty bad, physically and also mentally."
Rugby served as another lesson to help Kelter prioritize her purpose as an athlete.
"There is almost an innocence (to rugby). The depth is growing for rugby players getting ready for the Olympics. It's all-inclusive. It's every shape and size. You need everyone," Kelter told World Rugby. "Rugby is the epitome of family. It's that camaraderie. That's the culture."
Now, as Kelter pursues her third Olympic games in Paris, she reflects on how rugby has changed her life for the better.
"Rugby inspired me to say yes again, to try again, to be inspired to do that. Each day, being around these women in rugby, they encourage me to pursue that purpose."
Kelter huddles with her rugby teammates who have helped her redefine her identity as an athlete. (Photo courtesy of Alev Kelter's website)
